| הרב מישאל רובין | שמונה פרקים לרמב''ם | תשפ''ו [9]

Kind: captions Language: en Well, last time we talked about feelings, it was a topic of who knows who was here, there weren't many, why what happened? Something's back from Hanukkah, right? So we were here a little bit late, her daughter says what? But we talked a lot about feelings. what? what? Where have we arrived? We talked, oh I remember [laughter] I wanted to give an example of changing an emotion, so what did we say? We said that emotions are generally an external stimulus that activates some kind of button in me, some kind of response, some kind of response, and now we want to try to find out how we can maybe change this thing. So I want to propose a model of changing emotions. We will give a simple example and then try to understand the steps. What are we doing now? Now we are trying to talk about feelings. I mean things that arise in me as a result. Things I encounter in life. And when I meet them, it activates me. It turns me on. There are things that turn me on. Everyone will think for themselves, among themselves. We don't have to talk here, but everyone will do their part. There are things that annoy you, right? The famous joke of Moroccans is that they are not annoying, but rather annoying. So, but it's true. There are things that annoy me, there are things that make me jumpy, there are things that you can't stand, but so what's going on here? Now the reaction is a response to an external event, usually because as we said, a person doesn't wake up feeling nervous, nor does he wake up feeling nervous, unless something happened last night, but in the morning you woke up not feeling nervous. If so, someone stepped on your head, but if not, then why did you get up? I'm nervous. It's not like that. It doesn't happen. A person doesn't get up. He's suddenly happy. It can't be that he suddenly thinks. Now he has a Gemara page to study. It could be. But usually things come from other places. From events that happen and a certain moment of fire appears. So the model of changing emotions is something like this. For example, a person encounters a phenomenon that is a little bit. He is hurt. He is hurt. But if he understands and is aware that he doesn't want to be hurt or he is angry. A person sees something specific. It immediately grabs him. But I do n't like to get angry. So what do I do? So there are several steps. Step one. I understand that I don't like to get angry. I mean, my reaction is not good. I want to change the reaction. I want to change the feeling. The vulnerability that I have. The anger that is inside me. But I am activated. It's like a button. Here's a button. Here's a button. I press a tick. So if I see a certain phenomenon, it's as if someone presses a tick button for me. And then the reaction is automatic. I act in a certain way. Do you know this yourself? Do you know? These are well-known things. And so if I want to change a habit, first of all I want to not be bad at it. The way I react is bad for me. Then how can it be changed? Change is done like this, consciously photographing this process. Try to think, let's say I'll give you an example from me, okay? Not such a good example because it's mine, but anyway I'm willing to share it with you. I remember when I used to come when the kids were little, there were a lot of slobs like that at home, so I would come home, I would get a cold, I would get a fever, why, because everything was in a mess, everything was upside down, this guy is fighting with that guy, this guy is throwing this guy, this guy is here, laundry, things, stories, food, this guy took food here, this guy is a brawler, this guy is a family of boys, I don't know, not anyone who knows, these are boys like that, one after the other, so they each have crazy energies. That's when I would come home, I would grab it, it would jump me, I would see you just open the door, my eyes darkened, and then I would say, wait a minute, we have to sort it out, we have to come, what is it, let's start shouting, start, give, get angry. At some point, I realized that I'm not good with this, it's not good for me. Every time I come home, what do the children get from a father who comes home and immediately gets angry with them, so it's not worth it. So now the wisdom is here, but on the other hand, I decided 20 times that when I come home next time, I'll be completely calm . In short, I come, I'm calm, I open the door, once again it triggers your fuse. How can that be? But you said it like it was me. You said it was me. I told myself that the next time I open the door, that's not what will happen. So why aren't you succeeding? What happened? How did this happen? Do you understand what I'm saying? So the explanation is simply that in your mind you think something specific, but the emotions are here, the sensations are here. And so when someone presses on a specific part of my mouth, it makes me jump. When I open the door and I shoot all the mess it makes me jump. But think for a second, it's like they say, you want to say slander, so they say, "Okay, I have a very good solution. What's the solution? You repeat all of Chafetz Chaim and the book "Preserving the Tongue." What if I want to tell a story now? I don't repeat any Chafetz Chaim, any "Preserving the Tongue" and I don't know at all who Chafetz Chaim is. To my face, yes, I say Chafetz Chaim, the supreme righteous man, but I don't. You ca n't say "Okay." Think about it four times. Go take a shower, drink water. Count to 3428. Then say slander. Who will do that? You know these tips? No, 3428. I just made that up, but there are tips like that. Think about it four times. Do it again. Take a shower, drink water. Do it. It's like it's like it's being pulled to the Beit Midrash. Right, but it's pulling to the Beit Midrash. You're right. You're right. So we talked about it here. We talked about it and I explained that sometimes you can insert other images into reality. That's what I said, but here it's in the emotions, it's even more so, and the mind doesn't always work. Therefore, you should not propose an exchange process in the act. Listen carefully to what I say. If you just say I won't get angry, it won't help. But if I say I want to propose an exchange process and other ways of responding that are okay, as far as I'm concerned they're okay, I can do it, then there's a risk, there's a chance of doing it. And you make thinking differently a habit. I mean, you say when I get home, I'll do something else. No, I won't get angry, but I'll do something else. And you imagine it. You imagine it. I don't know if you're even with me. I don't even know if you think it's a witchcraft spell. Wait a second. It's not witchcraft, what I'm telling you. These are very, very simple things. Imagine yourself with someone who annoys you. Why does he annoy you? And you always get angry with him and you start yelling and in the end you regret it, so imagine a different way to treat him and introduce it as a habit into your life because if you don't and practice it, you I remember I practiced it, I took this door, I opened the door, now I see all the mess in the house and how you react differently is also supposed to make sense, no, but in sense, you are right. But the mind here is a change in thought. And this thought builds another habit within you. That's what's interesting. Maimonides believes, we've talked about this before, Maimonides believes that if a person does certain actions, it acts outwardly. How does it work on the face? After all, in the end I take action. The Rambam is a very, very believer in the power of habit. Habit is not just a technical habit that I get up in the morning, throw up my hands, grind my teeth, but these habits of what we experience, it comes back inside, it comes back to our lives, and like that comes back to our lives, you change. This is a very great innovation of the Rambam because how can a person change? So I could say with the mind, I think, think, think, I say or I want to do this and that and that is okay. It can be repeated, although it is always the mind. It is not always easy, but it is possible. But there is another possibility, according to the Rambam. The Rambam says that you can change if you get used to living different things. Feeling. To practice at first is very difficult. For example, I have another example for you, a person who is not. No, we were not friends. I was not. We were not friends. One day I said, what is unpleasant? No, not appropriate. No, not appropriate. What is not being friends? You cross the sidewalk when you are the one you don't want to meet. This doesn't happen with you. There are no sidewalks, but there are places where there are sidewalks. It doesn't matter. So one day I decided, I'm done. I see him, I say hello to him. If it's morning, I say good morning to him. If it's evening, I say good evening to him. If it's night. I say good night, smile, say hello. At first it was hard. It was a huge miracle that after a while, first of all, it wasn't pleasant to him, so he gave me back this because it wasn't pleasant, and secondly, he would have preferred that I know. But in the end, what's interesting is that after a while, the anti I had here really, really faded. The Rambam says, "If you say hello to him and smile, well, but I'm not in my head, this person, right? But these habits cause you to change your consciousness and emotions. Are you with us?" This is interesting. Well, you don't have people you cross paths with. It's not like that, you do the deed, and then only that. It's interesting that actions affect the inner self. From the Maharal, I think it's different. The Maharal, who has studied the paths of the world a little, says, "Understand this, understand this, and really, really, when you understand, you're there. You learn a path and humility. From the Maharal, so he tells you, "Listen, this is the most important thing. Most important." Right, from the Maharal, you always learn the path of humility. It's most important. You learn this path. It's most important. You learn what that means when you're there. About that and then he brings you an article by Chazal and another and another and another and he explains to you and explains from here explains from there explains from there gives you a huge picture at the end he says you understand you understand then you enter into a relationship this is it's over you have to do it because you understood all sides I think the way of the Rambam is simpler for me simpler why of course I don't decide I don't give grades to the great men of Israel yes but I say for me probably the fact that the Shi'ah helps me much more than I will study I will study I will study in the end it stays here and when the transition between here and here as if to life sometimes it gets stuck somewhere you know it after all who does n't know here right there should be a tie what you say here please so why don't I why don't I tie I know it no because you didn't understand enough articles by Chazal well bring me 10 more articles by Chazal it will help me so there are people maybe yes it helps them I don't help me it doesn't help me but if you do things slowly slowly slowly slowly slowly it changes your inner feelings it's like this if a person encounters a phenomenon that he is hurt From there it's like a button, you say some word, a person starts shouting, but if you understand, you are aware of anger and it doesn't suit you, anger, then you can change, you can change. I used to be Rabbi Hanani. We were at some wedding, I don't remember where we were. We were in Bnei Brak. We entered some parking lot, parked the car there. We left the wedding, we drove. We came to drive. Suddenly we hear shouting. Four guys are chasing someone. Beat them up. Now it really reached us. So we didn't know what to do. I just wanted to go. I wanted to get in the car and close the religion. Rav Hanani suddenly came. I remember it to this day. He came. Some sturdy guy came to him and said, "What happened?" So that guy didn't understand at all what you have to do with this? So Rabbi Hini came and brought out a candy. [Laughter] I remember that later I said, where did you get the candy? It doesn't matter, that's a different story, but he said, oh [laughter] He took out a candy bar so he was in shock like for a moment he was confused like wait a minute what do you understand like if you say what are you yelling at him why are you what is it what who are you what are you what beatings I was already in the car I closed all the doors but you understand like that it's like Golenchiks it was so it was interesting like suddenly seeing the person he he didn't understand where it came from like so I say sometimes there are actions that change your pressing the button because we work a lot on pressing the button there are things that annoy me there are things that I get offended by and every time it comes back but you want it to happen again but these are human things like human things you can change an action these are things that are between you and yourself that you know what because what you do it sits in your head you so I said I set a good example I open the door I get annoyed to see this this is between me and myself no one annoys me this is the reality is like this so what do I do I change I say you get home you say hello hello kids oh what's going on what is this Let's read this and finally sort it out. Give yourself time to say sentences like this. Take the kids to talk to them. Sentences at the end. You have to sort it out. There's nothing you can do. It's not that everything won't be okay and someone will come and do magic. Everything will fall into place. And all the tools will be there. And in the end, there's no choice. You have to struggle with it and say, guys, there's no choice. But what was the initial reaction? That's what irritated me. It irritated me. That I had no choice. I had no choice. Actually, at the moment I said what I said, that's it. I was like a rascal. And it wasn't good for me. It wasn't good for me. So I wanted to change it. But every time I tried to change it, it didn't change. Why? Why? But, Lord of the Universe, what am I? I'm not a thinking person. Not a human being. I understand. No. It does n't help. What helps? It helps. You do something else. You change the diskette here. Chick. Change it here. Put something else in. If you just say, "I don't get angry." I have patience. I'm not like that. I'm not like that. It won't help. You have sensitive spots. Okay. It's like when you see a person who doesn't help in a meeting. Of course, everyone helps. But you know, sometimes you have some kind of sociopath. That's how you tidy up the room. That guy acts like it's happening, like he's sleeping, like I'm stuff like that annoys me, so what's the second option? The second option is to hit him, no, it's possible. It's a continuation of the first option. But what's the second option? The second option is to say, be convinced that he's a poor man. How do you look at him? If you say, "He's just a jerk," he's not right. He's taking advantage of others. So you get angry. But now, change the picture. You look at him. You say, "What a poor person." How do you understand what I'm saying? Sometimes, someone understands what I'm talking about. They change the picture. I don't say, "There's no way he's allowed to do that." All humans are human. Yes, there are people who are great and great, but I'm an ordinary person. So, but there's this thing that suddenly you feel, you say, wait a minute, but really, this person is poor, he doesn't know how to read reality, he's not, he's not, he's not connected, what kind of poor person is this? Then you get much less upset because you gave a different interpretation to the same reality, a person does n't help, doesn't help, everyone helps, he doesn't help, so what do you say now, you have an interpretation, either he's like this, or he's like this, or he's like this, and it can change things, oh, oh, there are lots of things like that, lots of things like that . We need to change our attitude, and often when this attitude changes, it changes the internal matters that we have inside. I once had a couple who were really, really, really serious. He was an officer in the army. Now when his wife would call, he, he, he, he, it was as if he wanted to end the conversation because it was always a distraction. She wouldn't call. When Shiloh called, there was always something. So she said, " Okay, okay, I'm calling." So she would get upset. I explained. I explained to her. I explained to her. But it won't change your perspective. Technically, you might need to do other things. When you change your perspective, it can change our feelings a lot. Yes, it's okay. In torn things, I have the time to practice on them. But once, you're right. We're not angels. No, you're right. I agree with you. One-time events. There's nothing you can do. I once asked an important rabbi. I told him. Sometimes I get upset with the kids. And he told me, "Okay, don't worry. The kids are the ones who judge their parents. According to the majority. It's beautiful. Like, education is according to the majority. Obviously, you have slips. And you're cutting your own throat. Okay. But the majority. What is the majority? What is the majority? The majority? Give a chance. Give training. Give. It's the majority. Sometimes, it's okay. There's nothing you can do. Children also understand that sometimes there are difficulties. There are things. Yes, you can adopt such a perspective. It's with a lot of internal persuasion. Yes, it's true. It's possible. It's work. It's work. To sit down and say, "Wait, what are you?" Think and what you feel and what you are and how can I interpret it differently. I explained last time last week we talked about an event interpretation what it was I will explain what it is a reaction emotion so we said event interpretation interpretation interpretation your interpretation for example you live with guys sometimes read something so what do you say okay and he what is okay not okay right that means the interpretation comes it stems from my inner world because it is the same event the same thing happened here in the example I gave him four hotties tidying up the room and the fifth he does nothing so there is an event what the event the event he does not do it it is impossible to argue he does not do but the interpretation what you say [ __ ] up one says okay he is sad one says he is poor one says one says he is a sociopath and I need to beat him up the interpretation changes according to how we experience the event everything. Now you can come like you said I agree with you you can come and tell him I want to change now I would get angry I would be hurt I was like this I was like this I don't want to change I think about it and I say no I don't want to be hurt I want to think differently So how can you explain differently So you have to learn how to explain differently Many times in actions like I said before You can change the inside too This is what we talked about before So it turns out that the emotions I summarize something we also learned last time but in a different direction The emotions are in the awakened because the awakened as we said are things that awaken in me without my choice Many times there are things that awaken in me and I don't live on them And that's how it is when I want to drink or sleep or all kinds of needs that I have They awaken in me and emotions also awaken So what what acts on the awakened Ah the mind the imagination Many things act. This is our life, friends. This is our life. And now we come to the last component of five customers called the intellect. So now we have reason, we talked about desire, we talked about this. Now the cake, what does the Rambam say? Let's read what the Rambam says. Yes. I do n't know if he's talking here about all the organs of the body, the organs of the body, no. He's just saying here, if I remember correctly, he's saying that there are things that are related to some of the parts of the body, all these forces, all the organs of the body, such as the hand for action, the habit for movement, the eye for vision, the heart for hearing and fear. Here, the emotions are in the heart for hearing and fear, so internal organs, meaning the hand's function is to act, the habit for walking, the eye for seeing. It's in the actions you do, in the technical actions you do. It's related to the actions of the body, the senses, etc. But the emotions, the fears, the anxieties, the heroism and all the previous things he said, the demand, the escape, the hand, cruelty, mercy, are in the heart. The heart is the sign of the place where the emotions are. I don't know if that's true, but like this, there are certain organs, each organ has its function. Just as they say that lust, Chazal say lust is in the liver . okay? So as an example, the pie slice. Come on, we're moving towards the end of the first episode, at least maybe we'll have a party at the end. The part of the thinker is the ice that is available to a person in which he will be wise and in which he will have thinking and in which he acquires the sciences, yes, knowledge, intellect, knowledge, and let's distinguish between evil and good between actions and these actions from nothing, from nothing, theoretical, and the actions are not my work. My theoretical thinking is in which a person knows the things that are present that do not change, as they are not and are not called sciences in general, and my work is the Cyrus in which we learn the crafts, such as the construction of dwellings, farming, medicine, shipping, thought, the mental is in which Baruch thinks about the thing he wants to do at the time he wants to do it, whether it can be done, whether it ca n't be done, and if it were possible, how could he do it? This is what is worth mentioning here. This is what is worth mentioning here. It is interesting to the soul. Beautiful. Well, then let's try to understand what the thinking part is. There is another small section that I didn't read that we won't get to today, but in any case it is very important. We'll see it next time, God willing. What is the pie slice? Essentially, the piece of the cake is the divine image of man. Certainly in Rambam it is the intellect. A person has the power to think, he has the ability to think. As the onkylos says, a spirit from words, yes, this is speech, expression, this is the part that makes us human. Animals don't speak, animals can't speak, they may be shouting something, they may have sounds of something, but humans are able to speak. What is speaking? Speaking is a very abstract part of a person that brings abstract thought. Only humans can speak in an abstract way. I will give a simple example, but before that, an important statement. The mind actually frees the person from fulfillment. Because the intellect differentiates, analyzes, and frees from impurities. An example is given. A simple example is given. Oh, do you have a watch? you? No, no, a watch. Watch Do you have a watch? No, no, don't take it out . Raise your hand with the watch. Look at his watch. Look at the clock. What is this? I did n't understand. But what am I not more than a moment if his honor is respected? I am happy. If I have any respect at all, that's good. Do you see his watch? Does everyone see it or not? high. Lift high. This is the clock. You have a watch. Raise the tall one. Would you say this is a watch? Is this a watch? yes. It's also a watch. wrong. I'll explain to you because you said it's a clock. I mean, it's a watch. So this is the clock. The strip is green. This one doesn't know exactly what. There is some black wire. This is a watch. Why is that? You're not serious. This is also a watch. Listen carefully. Now when I say a watch, I don't mean a specific object, what I mean is something that shows the time. It's an abstract thought. Here you see it, too. A watch. What is a watch? Look at what size it is. Look at your watch. So if you decide that it's a watch, then it's just a watch and it's not a watch. You don't understand. When I talk to you about a watch, I'm talking to you about the idea of ​​the watch. What is a clock? This clock is for reading to know what time it is. This is a cup. This is a cup. But if I bring you a cup without a handle now, what would you say? No, it's also a cup. You don't understand that. Animals do not have abstract thought. So the lion sees a zebra. He says it's a zebra. why? Because yesterday he saw the same thing, ate it, it was delicious. But if the zebra is weird, I do n't know, something happens, I don't know, it was burned in some fire and now it's red or I don't know what, or it has a lion that won't attack. why? Because maybe it's not a zebra. What don't you understand that it's the same thing? But what did he do with a purple hairdo? not. He has no peace what? He has no peace not. He says it like that. This is just the world of imagination. We here are glasses, right, they are glasses, but here you also have glasses. Look at the glasses. They are not the same. So how are they glasses? They are also glasses because it doesn't matter. It's black. And with him it's red. And with him it's blue. And it doesn't matter. Here it's a full frame. He has a half frame. What does it matter? It's a tool with which people like me who don't see well can see better. So what does it matter? What does it look like? It's a coat, it's a coat, it's a shirt, it's a shirt, it's a shirt. It's an abstract thought. The mind is a very interesting thing. I don't know if you understand what I'm explaining. This is a very important thing because the word cup describes it. Do you know what the word [ __ ] means? Word clock. What does she say? It describes all the watches in the world. If they are big and small and red and blue and without a number and with a number and with a number like that and with a Hebrew number and with a number all this thing is a tamon in the word clock is a tamon in the word glass tamon in the word glasses it is an abstract thought it frees us from the senses because you can now talk to me about an abstract thought I can talk to you in an abstract thought and then what does that do to the mind I can meet God because it is an abstract thought I can think about things that don't exist animals don't have that I have to think abstractly and that's why animals do n't talk they don't talk because we when we talk every word represents a whole world when I tell you ah ah a cat so a cat is a whole world what does it matter what it looks like it is a whole world of conveying messages yes that does n't exist you can in imagination I can tell you now think about a cat that has two eyes here and two eyes here you can why how can you be non-existent you said non-existent what you meet in the eyes beautiful this is exactly what the Maimonides said in imagination the Maimonides said a ship flies in the air doesn't remember flew did n't sail I will meet is it at all what is there something I haven't met at all what does that mean beyond the connection that I can make you can make connections it's the world of imagination no but there are also things that meet at all so you can't no so Rabbi now really think about think about an animal that doesn't exist it does n't seem like I can imagine but you you can you can combine you can take a tiger's eye an elephant's ear a it's something that is yes but it's not related to but it's not it's not related it's not related to abstract abstract it's not imaginary abstract it's that you understand the principle behind it it's like glasses you know what glasses are glasses it's not round round it's an individual it can also be non-round it can also be square so what are glasses? Glasses are a tool through which you see. okay? When you said you understand what glasses are, then you know all the glasses in the world. This is abstract. God is like that too. Because what is God? You know, you know the idea behind it. What is the knowledge behind this? Almighty, eternal, no matter what. Expressions that even we are not sure we understand. Because what is eternity? We are not eternal. He is, in any case, you can meet with him. The mind comes to clarify the idea that this thing comes to the cup. This is the scythe. This is the clumsy one. If it is a cup, you need children. For example, small children, when they encounter things, they put them in their mouths because for them, the contact with the mouth. They suck the pacifier. They take this. This is the possibility of getting to know something. We don't need to get to know it. I can talk about a cup without even touching it. I know, oh, that's it, bring the glass. Please bring me the glass. How do you bring the glass? This is a cup. This is a cup. You understand the logic of the matter. This is a very interesting thing. The intellect comes to clarify the idea in objects, the idea in everything. I will not approach the sea to catch I meet I can understand the idea of ​​the road but you meet with it but talk about eternity and infinity I have not met with it no but you know what it is I do not know you do know how I know I the concepts of you know you know there is something that has no end the mind cannot simplify anything no you know you can understand there is something that has no end you do not know how it works you do not meet with it you do not know how it even happens happens but you can understand the concept because it is an abstract concept there is a concept called infinity when you studied calculus in the third grade they told you infinity for numbers so what did you say you understood that you count 5x 10 100,000 million is not an end you understand it only you understand it in an abstract way you do not meet with it I mean except for money that you are a million you meet but I do not but other than that it is an abstract thought. Abstract thought does not remove from us the realization of the object, but rather explains that behind everything there is an ideological logic. That means there is a logic of R, sorry, an idea behind the objects. Now the Maimonides here talks about two types of talents. Look at what he's talking about. He's talking about the sciences. Then he talks about, he distinguishes between evil and good. What does that mean? I mean, in my mind, I have a rubric of understanding things 2+2=4, which is mind, but also between evil and good. I mean, the mind also examines the moral world, the moral world. It examines that. The mind can say this is good, this is not good. It examines things from a value perspective, and besides, it also examines, oh, the crafts, which means learning things, carpentry, farming, medicine, and thinking. It's planning things that don't yet exist. But I know what I'm talking about, and so I understand that I need to do something specific, so I examine how to do it, with what tools to do it, when to do it. Planning things. Planning things is a crazy ability. The ability to say, "I want to do something specific now," so I use my mind to say when, how, with what tools, with what means, with what people, I'll help make a table, and all that. A human being thinks with his mind. These are things that are also a little bit related to imagination. But the mind is good, with God's help, next week we will finish the mind strong and blessed.